Tales from Bizarro World

mmmmmmmmm... it must be July! The air this morning is SO thick with the smell of the onions being harvested south of San Jose. It's so strong this morning I can smell it here in the office. Mmmmmmmmmm. I love this time of year but it's making me mighty hungry. I'd be a goner if I lived someplace where they were harvesting bacon or donuts mmmmmmmmm This weekend is the garlic festival in Gilroy too so we should be smelling the sweet smell of garlic before too long too :) Not much by way of agriculture in this once all agriculture town, but there are a few things still growing in the area :) :) :)

Another busy-ish weekend… seems like a while since I had a whole weekend where I just sat on my ass and did nothing… must be summer still LOL Tho, it was a bit chilly this weekend, and not much by summer-like at all.

Friday night had a very nice dinner at Ty & Tim’s. I had a hell of a time dragging myself out tho. It’s so hard to make myself go out on a Friday night after working all week. I was afraid I was going to be grumpy mcgrump all evening but once there I relaxed a little and had a nice time. An old friend of ours, Paul, and his newish beau Tom, were there, as was another old friend Lee and her newish beau Bill. As usual I was the only one that didn’t have anything to drink, or any pot, so I was the more quiet one listening and watching most the night. You know… “rationally” I see nothing wrong with pot at all, but I can’t help but feel irritated when in a room of people smoking pot. I think it’s cause I just can’t get away from it without looking like a total anti-social person (i.e. going and sitting in the other room alone). I must have had at least a little contact high tho cause I went through at least a full big bowl of chips and dip LOL mmmmm… something about Ruffles and French Onion dip, and guac, and salsa, and tortilla chips, and crackers…. Oye… I ate way too much LOL

Saturday was a house cleaning and such day. Did laundry which badly needed to be done, made some zucchini bread, and grilled Portobello mushrooms for dinner… they came out soooo well.

Sunday, more stuff at home, went over to my mom’s and fiddled around with her cable lines and split it so now she can tape something while watching another channel (she was happy), and sorted some comics at her place. Went out for a bit last night to Big San Jose and saw sarcastikub, design_bear & Mike and mizznizznichael. It was VERY quiet there… well, meaning there was almost nobody there, otherwise it was very not quiet but loud. You know, when there are only 8 people in the bar the music doesn’t need to be cranked real high. We could hear it a block and a half away, so it was uber loud inside. Aaaaaanyway, was way nice to see Sarcastikub and Design Bear. It doesn’t happen often enough.

Not sure what the week is going to bring. I guess we'll see....

*this morning the news was all a twitter… big breaking news. HUGE it seemed… they announced which Starbucks will be closing. HORRORS! I’ve never been to a Starbucks, apparently I should go before the 1 that is closing in San Jose shuts it’s doors… forever!!!

*driving to work, happily singing along with Annie Lennox to There Must Be an Angel (Playing with my Heart) la la la la la la la laaaaaa la la laaa! I realized that things really *are* changing with increased gas prices… there are SO many people riding bikes to work who look like they haven’t been on a bike in 20 years. This one guy this morning, uber cute I have to say, was wobbling like his bike was gonna tip over any second, looking mighty nervous as he rode down the Alameda. Bless his little heart but it did give me the giggles something fierce.

*Bob and I have been watching episodes of a couple of ummm.. what are they? Period soap operas? One is Swingtown… a more fluffy soap about swinger couples in the 70’s (Grant Show in a sexy 70s stache yum!) and the other is Mad Men about advertising guys in the early 60s. I am kind of liking them both… even tho they are soaps there are some pretty cool looks at life in the 60s and 70s (yay, Tupperware parties and advocado & burnt orange everywhere!). Mad Men seems to be the more realistic of the two and just blows me away with how women and minorities are treated and such. And damn… it’s so weird to see *everyone* smoking LOL What a different world we live in almost 50 years later.

*I finally remembered the plans Bob made that I keep forgetting… we’re going to dinner at Ty and Tim’s tonite and prolly playing cards. It really should be fun but I was hoping to go out tonite too. Maybe on our way home after dinner I spose.

Alrighty tighty… everyone have a good weekend. See ya’s on the internets.

Thoughts, perhaps even more random than usual!

*man-o-man… there was an article on the news this morning saying that 24% of California high school students drop out. Looking at racial sub-groups 30 percent of Latinos and a whopping 42 percent of black students drop out of high school. 42 percent, almost half the black students in California don’t finish high school. UGH… this is so disheartening to me. 1 in 4 of all students, that’s staggering.

*two weeks from today I go in for a bunch of tests on my heart as part of a study to umm… study the possible correlation between HIV and heart disease. I’m nervous. I’m nervous both over the procedure (I’ve never had a ct scan) *and* what the results will be. I haven’t told anyone but I’ve been having a bit of chest pain here and there for a while now. Hopefully this will put some of my fears to rest, or make me deal with it if need be.

*oh… last weeks lab results… t-cells 907 and HIV viral load undetectable. YAY… not bad for 20 some years dealing with this (turns on obligatory Mary Tyler Moore “you’re gonna make it after all” theme and throws hat in the air… then drops it like Rhoda :)

*as I was falling asleep last night I had a very random memory pop in my head of how I as a kid I used to hide in the apartment and peak out the mini-blinds at the kids playing in the neighborhood. I remember wishing I could go play with them but I was so painfully shy I just couldn’t do it. So I just kept secretly watching them through the blinds. I’ve come a long way but I still often feel like I’m hiding behind the blinds peaking in at the world going on around me wishing I could play too. In any case, it was a weird memory to pop in my head considering I hadn’t thought of it in years.

*I love my 80s cd’s I’ve made. This morning coming in to work I sang my little heart out to Apollonia 6 – Sex Shooter, Sheena Easton – Strut, ABC - Poison Arrow and Olivia Newton John – Living in Desperate Times (how appropriate a song for these times actually). Yay for sunny days and good take me to work music!

*I think sarcastikub is supposed to be up this way this weekend so I’m looking forward to seeing him. I think that bear night thingee at one of the clubs down town is Sunday night too… I always forget it so maybe I’ll actually remember Sunday and go check it out. Grrr… I know Bob made some sort of plan this weekend too but damned if I can remember what it is. I must not have been thrilled by it since I keep forgetting LOL Summer summer busy summer :)

Hey wait a minute, it says I was conceived in March but my parents were married the following July... OMG those whores!!!

That long birthday meme thing is behind the cut. Most interesting part for me is how many kick ass songs were in 1967 :)

( Read more... )

oh, and the linky to the meme generator for those who care... have fun!
http://www.paulsadowski.com/BirthDay.asp

You know… the world is changing so much and so fast. Language is rapidly becoming all internet speak. Last night I heard two guys talking at the gym and it was full of net speak… like a whole different language at times. One of my fave parts:
Guy #1 {blah blah blah} Pizza last night… Om nom nom nom delicious
Guy #1 {some new bunch of letters I didn’t understand}
Guy #2 OMG… LOL in rapid succession {said exactly as it’s spelled out}

But… I have to admit, I find myself doing the same more and more too, bother that. In fact, here’s a little secret for ya all. Many of the facial expressions, yays, quirky ways I emphasize and hear myself saying the words I type on here… more often than not I really do them as I’m typing them. It’s rather subconscious for me but I’ve caught myself more than a few times saying what I’m typing with funny faces and all.

So imagine if you will the occasional embarrassment when words like “woo-hoo”, “yay”, “booooooo” or “OMG you BITCH!” escape my mouth sitting here at my desk… or when I make a scowly face or happy face or stick out my tongue when I’m typing and one of my co-workers walks by to see my myriad of facial expressions. I’m rather convinced they think I have tourets or something. I spose to perpetuate that I should shout out shitdamnfuckcunt! or something sometimes but I know they think I’m nuts regardless.

Anyway… just something that amused me this morning I had to share.

Yay, Vegas was a nice trip, expensive but nice. We stayed downtown at the Golden Nugget and had a pretty damn cool suite that looked out over the city and mountains in the distance. The bed and pillows were about the most comfy I’ve been on. They had treats in the hallway outside the elevators so it seemed I was always loading up on mixed nuts and candy LOL Oh! and the bathroom mirror had a tv in it… that way you could poop while getting the news from Wolf Blitzer LOL

Friday night Bob and I went to go see Zumanity, the “adult” Cirque du Soleil show. I enjoyed it. The sexuality was intense… LOTS of it. You couldn’t’ even say it was innuendo, it was flat out all about sex. No actual sex acts but lots of artsy simulated sexuality. And boobies, lots and lots and lots of boobies :P I bet more than a few of those (uber sexy) straight boys popped a boner at least once during the show. The “acts” themselves were not that impressive, lots of acrobatics and such but not like the other Cirque shows out there. Still was a cool show.

After the show we headed back downtown to the hotel. Bob wanted to gamble a bit and I went ahead with him. OMG… as a whole, Vegas and gambling is just about the most boring shit in the world to me. Bob on the other hand totally lights up when he here’s the siryn call of the slots. I stayed there with him while he played the slots and I just ogled the hot hot hot drunk straight boys who were all over the place.

Saturday was Bob’s birthday. We wandered the casinos downtown some more (yawn yawn yawn). I tried my best to hide it but Bob could tell I was totally bored. We went back to the room and I took a nap while Bob headed back down to the casino.

Saturday night we headed back to the Strip (we spend SO fucking much on cabs) and had dinner. Then, the highlight of the weekend, we headed to Ceasar’s Palace to see Bette Midler. She put on a great show, funny as hell and SO active considering she’s like 400 years old. This was our 3rd or 4th time seeing her and I gotta say I think she is truly one of my favorite live performers. Bob had a great time and I was happy as a clam that we got to do something he enjoyed so much on his birthday.

After the show we headed back downtown where he gambled and I yawned more. But, I did stay by his side this time… normally 5 minutes in the casino and I’m gone leaving Bob to do his gambling thing on his own. I was pretty done by midnight tho… I think it was something like “oh, 12:01, it’s no longer your birthday I’m going to bed LOL”

Sunday we got up, had breakfast and headed to the airport to go home. Got home, grocery shopped, napped, made dinner blah blah blah. Back to life and all that. Definitely a nice weekend and I’m so glad Bob truly enjoyed. For me that was the best part, seeing Bob have a good time. Well, that and Bette Midler. Oh and ogling the cute drunk straight boys :)

Now things should be a bit quiet for a couple weeks at least. Yay for that cause I’m beat :P

packed and ready to go... off to Vegas shortly. Back on Sunday so just a quick hop and a jump. Have a great weekend y'alls!

grrrr... I went in for my (a bit overdue bad me) HIV bloodwork yesterday and the phlebotomy bitch nurse caught me totally off guard by using a vein in my forearm instead of the crook of my elbow area that they *always* do it in. She's smacking the regular vein then goes "oh, that looks like a good one" and shoved it in my forearm instead. Ouchy ouch ouch and now it has a nasty bruise that I swear is getting bigger as I sit here today.

Will take up to a few days for the HIV load, t-cells & stuff and they still don't have my cholesterol numbers online yet (they must be high, they don't send em if they are high) but the other stuff is trickling in, glucose better than usual, and negatory on my syphillis, gono, and chlamydia tests, yay for that! Boo for having to pee in 2 cups yesterday tho, almost pee'd on my shoe. I wonder how many people spill the cup trying to juggle it all :P

I got lectured on not waiting 7 months to do this, at least it wasn't a year this time LOL Time just moves so fast how am I supposed to remember to go every 3 or 4 months, especially since my numbers have been so good for like, forever.

They also suckered convinced me to take part in a study to help determine the corrolation between HIV and heart disease. I'm a little nervous about that. I go in in a couple weeks for a bunch of heart tests, ct scan etc etc. Shudder!

ok... enough with the med update. Off to Vegas tomorrow, YAY for a weekend away with Bob :)

mmmmmmm... waffles! I like waffles so this must be better than it sounds :P

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Tuesday randomocity

*Meh! Let the flight schedule changes begin. I almost always book flights way way way in advance and it’s not uncommon for something small to change like a flight number or a small change of flight time. When American announced that they were cutting routes I pretty much assumed some of the flights I have booked over the next year would be affected. So yesterday they emailed me letting me know they rescheduled my flights for the cruise in February. For the flight home from Florida it looks like they eliminated the Fort Lauderdale – LA flight that I always take and put me on flights that go through Dallas instead. Bummer but still ok really. But.. the flight to Florida was changed so I went from a 1.5 hour layover in Dallas to a 6 hour layover that would have put me in Florida at 11 at night. I looked online and see that they have a flight that is 20 minutes before the one I originally booked, now why didn’t they just move me to that one instead? I called and got my flight changed to the earlier flight and all is good again for now. I wonder how many more times I will have to do this before February tho. I hope they don't fiddle with my southern decadence flights :P

*We get together with my Mom for dinner every week and watch Survivor. Since it’s summer season and no Survivor we’ve been watching the Star Wars films starting with episode 1. I’ve actually really enjoyed it. Last night we watched Empire Strikes Back. Fun fun! Man I so crushed on Han Solo way back when LOL Only Return of the Jedi left… not sure what we’ll do to get through the rest of the summer. Surely not sit and talk!

*The heat and the smoky skies are back. It’s HOT and the skies are a drab gray. Supposed to be in the 100’s, if not today then tomorrow. HOT HOT HOT Of course… we are going to Vegas this weekend for Bob’s birthday, when better than in a total heat wave :P

*Speaking of going to Vegas, I gave Bob about 10 years worth of quarters and other change this morning so he’d have gambling money (as the huge plastic bag went *THUMP* on the table). The rolled stuff alone was a few hundred, not sure how much total there was. I feel a little bad giving him it all and saying “ok, if you deal with it at the bank you can have it to gamble with” but still… it should keep him happy and gambling this weekend LOL

ok, almost lunch. Too hot for nap in my car so not sure what I'll do. I wonder if I'll fit in my closet here.

Wow… yet another busy weekend. Friday night we went over to our friends Ty & Tim’s for dinner and then crawled up on their roof to watch the fireworks downtown. Unfortunately I pulled a muscle or something in my leg scrambling up the roof so it hurt mighty bad most the weekend.

Saturday I was up way too early, picked a bunch of plums off the tree and made up a batch of plum jam. Man it came out well. I’m hoping the berries keep producing nicely so I’ll have plum jam, berry jam, and my fabulous and famous jalapeno jelly to give for presents this Christmas. Homemade jams do make great presents. Too bad fruit is ready to be canned when it’s like 100 degrees in the summer tho :P

Saturday afternoon I headed up to SF, met up with dhbearguy and started off his week long birthday celebration. We had a drink with greengadfly & Mark at Midnight Sun and then walked (well I limped cause of my sore leg) to Big Lantern where we had dinner with akil & Gene, boyshapedbox & Phil, and Dave’s tall & sexy friend Jack. eireangus & Sean also made a special appearance to wish Dave a happy bday. It was a fun dinner and a whole lot of food LOL From there we wandered back to the Castro for more drinks at Midnight Sun & 440.

All evening dhbearguy was trying to convince me to go to Bearracuda and I finally relented to go check it out. I don’t talk about it much but I have a lot of ummm… issues when it comes to comfort zones and such. I know I *look* like I’m wild and crazy and try anything and everything but I have a pretty set world where I know I’m comfortable and it’s very hard for me to go out of that. Things like always getting a motel when I go to SF, pretty much only staying in the Castro, etc etc are just part of the things I do to stay in my comfort zone and not bringing on the old panic attacks that I used to have all the time. Going to Bearracuda was definitely out of that comfort zone for me and I was pretty (very) stressed the ride there… especially since it was in the tenderloin (oh! Looky at the hookers and crack addicts, neat!). Anyway, just stress and no full blown panic attacks tho so yay for that, I am definitely getting better as far as all that goes LOL

So anyway… I stepped out of my comfort zone, yay me (and yay to dhbearguy for pushing me to go and akil & Gene for making things easier by driving us down there). Once there I was pretty much ok… lots of folks I know (and would like to know) were there and I had a nice time. Tho… I did jump at the chance to go back to the Castro when dhbearguy asked LOL I doubt Bearracuda will ever be on my “must list” but I’m sure I’ll be more easily convinced in the future :)

Back in the Castro we closed 440 and I ran into an old trick friend and contemplated going for a repeat performance. Dave headed home and old friend and I walked back towards the motel and/or his place nearby. In the end I decided against asking him up to the room, I was tired and ready to crash for the night. I felt a little rude backing out but I wouldn't have been any fun as I was asleep practically before I even got in my room LOL

Sunday morning I got a call from Bob a little early and he had made brunch plans for us… grrrrr. So I rushed to get myself together and headed back home. After brunch we had a very impromptu garage sale (here, lets put this stuff in the driveway and see what sells) and puttered around the house.

Today I could use another day off to rest LOL Work should be quiet tho, yay that. Fun weekend all around, hope all of you had nice ones too!

hmmm... looks like Thursday, feels like Friday. YAY for short weeks!

Up too damn early today. Eyes popped open a little after 4 and there was no getting back to sleep. Ended up puttering around the house, picked berries and tomatoes in the garden, paid bills online, answered some emails and just busied myself since I couldn't sleep. I'm ready for a nap now.

busy weekend ahead... Bound and determined to pick the plums off the tree tonite and make up a batch of plum jam tomorrow morning. It's either that or watch them rot which would suck. We have so many vegies in the garden that we can't keep up. Zucchini zucchini zucchini... is that spelled right, it looks wrong :P

Anyway, once operation plum jam is complete we will be heading downtown to meet with our friends Ty and Tim for 4th of July firework-y extravaganza type stuff. I really want to go to Pizza Chicago for dinner but it's not easy to make things fall together with these guys.

Saturday I'm heading back up to SF for a dendren night out and happy birthday celebrating with Mr. dhbearguy. I expect the normal trail to be made back and forth between Midnight Sun, Big Lantern Chinese and 440 LOL

Sunday... who knows... I anticipate napping will ensue after a night in the City LOL Unless Bob comes up with something else he wants to do.

So there it is, a busy 4th of July weekend... JENKIES!!! how did it get to be July already?!? The year is zooming by.

Hope everyone has a safe and fun 4th of July... remember, Smokey the Bear says "only you can prevent forest fires!" so don't go burning up any more of California please. Thank you!

As always, most event weekends like the last I keep my ears open for music that strikes my fancy to put on a new cd compilation. Donna Summers Stamp your Feet is at the top of the list right now and I was quite happy every time it got played at Midnight Sun.

So another song was a played a few times but I never caught who or what it was. Finally at the midnight sun it came on and I looked up at the screen to figure it out. Miley Cyrus - See you Again

eEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! I like a song by Hannah Montana... I thought that wasn't allowed unless you were a 13 year old girl or perverted old straight guy.

*hangs head in shame*

This is definitely on my list of "embarrassed I like it" along with Britney Spears and Hillary Duff... why must they make my butt wiggle!!!! damn then!

My heart it can't wait til then oh woah woah
I can't wait to see you again

bother!

Friday!!! Thanks be to the deity or non-deity of you choice, just be thankful, period!

This weekend Bob and I are spending the weekend in SF for Pride weekend. I have mixed feelings about it. Honestly SF Pride seems to be more habit than fun for me. I mean I know I’ll have a nice time but SF is a lot more enjoyable when there aren’t 1.2 million people cramming the streets. We’re staying at the Travelodge on Market, which is nicely located to both Castro and South of Market so we’ll prolly wander towards both here and there.

We don’t have much by way of actual plans. Anyone got a plan we can borrow? I anticipate having dinner at Big Lantern tomorrow night, hopefully with dhbearguy there, and anyone else who’d like to join please give me a holler. We’ll prolly do the pink party in the Castro. It’ll be interesting to see how Bob does tomorrow and whether or not he feels up to staying out at all, or just plain gets bored LOL

I took Monday off for my own version of National Pride Day. Yay for a 3 day weekend, followed by a 3 day week, followed by yet another 3 day weekend for 4th of July.

Ok… I’m boring myself here, can’t imagine I haven’t done the same to all others too. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Hopefully I’ll see some of ya out and about in SF tomorrow and Sunday :)

*this must be "gay talent year" on that America's Got Talent show. Last week they had the Kinsey Sicks on (I missed it BOOOOO!!!) and last night they on had the DC Cowboys. I caught them on there by accident when Bob was flipping channels. The DC Cowboys were on one of the RSVP cruises a year or two back. Awfully pretty for “cowboys” but they sure can dance. I highly doubt they’ll win the show tho

*the smoke seems a little better today than yesterday but still giving me the coughs and burn-y eyes pretty damn bad. It's a little creepy, this is about the worst I've seen it here my whole life. Yesterday afternoon you couldn't see down the street more than a mile it was so thick.

*ok… I was tagged a week ago by fj for this so here goes nothing…

It’s a Summer Song Meme
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs.
Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

I can’t seem to name 7 actual songs so let’s see where this goes

1. Donna Summer – Stamp your Feet: For me this seems to be *the* song of the summer. Hecka wow! It feels like the perfect make yourself move song, the perfect song for feeling pride at all the pride fests and parties and even the perfect song of happiness for a gay wedding LOL Donna Summer has never been highest on my list of artists, always liked most her stuff but this has shot right to the top for me this summer.

2. Cyndi Lauper – Same ol fucking story: Cyndi Lauper has long been a favorite and I’m loving that she has a new album out that I’m truly enjoying. Her last 2 albums were good but it’s so nice to hear her go back to her disco roots. Same ol fucking story (or the clean version Same ol same ol story) has a great beat and just a bit of the old Cyndi Lauper twist in it.

3. Wicked OST – For Good/Pink – Who Knew: It’s summer and these seem to be my token sad & maudlin songs. Actually they have been for a while, long before the summer. They evoke memories of summers and friends long gone. They are very much songs that make me think of David too.

4. Idina Menzel – Gorgeous: Idina Menzel from Wicked singing a disco song… I just like it. Her voice is great and it’s got a nice beat to it. It’s interesting to watch her move off of Broadway and try to break into the pop world.

5 my ipod 80s playlist – so far I’ve made about 58 80s compilation cds and put em on my ipod. My 80s playlist is on shuffle and helps me get through every night at the gym. I’ve also been grabbing the cds at random and listening to them on my way to work too, singing my heart out to all the fabulous 80s songs I could come up with. This mornings ride was filled with Quiet Riot – Cum on feel the noise, Sheila E – Glamorous Life and Dolly Parton – Potential New Boyfriend. YAY!

6 My “showtunes” (broadway/movie/OST/cabaret acts etc) compilation cds. These are in heavy rotation on my player in the kitchen. Making food for the bbq, cooking dinner, etc etc I sing my little heart out to the likes of In my own way from Shock Treatment (the terrible Rocky Horror sequel), Beautiful Briny Sea from Bedknobs & Broomsticks, Rainbow Connection from Muppet Movie, Going through the Motions from Buffy, Grease from ummmm Grease, Popular from Wicked etc etc etc… I’ve made 9 cds so far, I love my showtunes cd’s!

7 the sound of the fan in the bedroom all night… ok, not a song at all but total music to my ears. I love it when it is warm enough that we can keep a fan on all night. The white noise in the background helps me sleep SO well. I point the fan at Bob tho, I *hate* having the fan blowing on me LOL

I’m not the tagging sort… if you wanna play, please consider yourself tagged

Let the random thoughts flow...

*UGH… this smoke in the air is just horrible. I was up half the night coughing and my eyes feel and look like ground hamburger today… it burns it burns. Where the hell are my eyedrops?

*hmmmm… *someone* in the household left a bag of hamburger buns out and the cats ate much of them. They spread the rest all over the house. Whatta mess.

*I absolutely can not believe that this weekend is SF Pride already. So far Bob is still on board with spending the weekend up there. I suspect there will be Chinese food and drinking in the near future. I already told Bob I really don’t want to do our typical pride saturday night trip to Blow Buddies so hopefully we’ll be able to hang with a fun group of folks at the pink party instead. We haven’t done that in ages. In any case Bob has til Thursday to decide whether he’s really up to it or not.

*I don't know where this memory came from but this morning I was thinking of how the last time I was in SF someone took off my shirt at daddies/440 and I wandered around without it for a long time until suddenly I got embarrassed and couldn’t get it back on fast enough I rarely go shirtless in a bar, especially in SF. I think I was drunk. Damn demon rum!

*oh and last, I blame ronm for the fact that I’ve had the Brady Kids singing Sunshine Day stuck in my head since yesterday. Yes, it was a result of my own evilness but it backfired and now I can’t get it out of my head :P

And one more set… with update too! This was a busy busy weekend. Lots of house stuff and you know… yawn, life stuff. The heat was just unbearable on Saturday. When I went to the store it was 105. Of course, the hottest day of the year would have to be the day we were getting all tuxified and going to a big benefit gala thingee. Lordy it was hot. The dinner and party thing was much more ok than I feared. Hardly anyone wore masks (phew) and that was peachy keen with me. I hate masks! If anything, it was all a little boring. All the hoitie toitie folks dressed to the nines complaining about the food… ummm, it’s a benefit, I would hope they didn’t spend much on the food. We bid in the silent auction for VIP viewing tickets for the 4th of July thing here in San Jose. We haven’t heard anything so I doubt we got it but it would have been fun if we had. Otherwise it was lots of standing around with me desperately trying not to spill wine on anything (I only did it twice) and eating while standing up wearing a tux is quite perilous too. It was a fine evening and I suspect we’ll be doing more of them. Before the event we got pics in our back yard in our tuxes. I’m actually pretty thrilled at how nice they came out. I especially like the last one. It’s so cool. Oh, and Bob said the sweetest thing that night… “I love when we get all dressed up and go out together like this because I know everyone thinks how lucky I am to have the handsomest lover in the room” OMG… it almost made me cry. After 16 years I think we both tend to forget some of the stuff like that between us. Anyway… on with the pics (last ones, I promise!)

Next up, pics from our day at the beach


Can you hear me now?

Ok… the next few posts will be some catching up on pics from the last week or so…

First up… wildfire and smoke are the new in thing in California. Seems everyone is doing it…


Here comes the smoke over the hills from Santa Cruz…


Didn’t take long for it to fill the whole sky





Yeah, it’s purdy and all that but damn, it’s killing my lungs the last week or so :P

This morning coming in to work I cranked up the volume on the cd player and sang my little heart out to Styx Too Much Time on my Hands (tick tick tick tiiiiiiickin away), Eurythmics Love is a Stranger ( And I want you, And I want you And I want you so Its an obsession), and Berlin’s Sex (I’m a) (wrap your legs around mine and ride me tonite). Oh what a chipper and fun drive I had in to work it was this morning. I wish I was more comfortable singing in public (well comfortable at all) cause I really do enjoy it when I'm alone :)

You know, back in 1981-82 or so as a budding young teenage homosexual, I really can’t remember what I thought my life would be like in the future. I don’t remember what I thought I’d do for work, or my daily life, or the world would be. I suppose I probably thought I’d be some sort of “businessman” in my suit and tie and be driving my baby blue Mercedes or something. This morning it really struck me that I never really have been very good at projecting what my future would be.

I do know that I never imagined myself driving to work on a sunny summer morning, singing my heart out to the same songs I was listening to back then, still.

I didn’t imagine $5 a gallon gas (weren’t we sposed to have flying cars by now), a real (I hope) possibility that we would soon have a president that just happens to be black, and holy moly… legalized gay marriage??? I’d never have imagined that.

I didn’t imagine that at 40 I’d still love reading comic books, still be going to concerts (and paying $300 to see Madonna, again!), still be making mix tapes (well cds), still be keeping a journal of sorts (on a computer practically connected to the *whole* world - WOW!) and still wearing my comfy levi 501’s to work occasionally. I certainly didn’t imagine almost every friend I’d made as a teenager would be long dead and gone, that records would be practically antiques, that Dynasty would have been off the air for almost 20 years, and that computers would be some of the most integral parts of my life.

I don’t know *what* I imagined my life and the world would be at 40 years old nor can I imagine now, what it will be like even in 10 years when I’m 50. How weird and bizarre life is, the way it changes and flows and changes again. I guess the only thing you can really imagine is that the future is truly unimaginable.

Really no point to this post, it’s sort of a random stream of thought LOL Just some stuff that struck me as I enjoyed the warm sunny early morning and quite happily rocked out to Styx on my way to work this morning… and it's ticking away, ticking away from me… tick tick tick tick tiiiiiickin away.


Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!

Hmmmm… so first let me start of by saying a very heartfelt congratulations to the (many) happy couples who walked down the path of history and got married this week. I am SO happy to see so many friends finally able to take the plunge :)

That said… this whole marriage thing, it just, I don’t know, it just isn’t ringing my bell at all. From the outside I can observe it and say wow hella cool, another step(ish) in the the equality direction. This is huge, I know it. So why am I not that excited about it all? And why, when everyone asks if (when) Bob and I are getting married, do I bristle just a bit. My stock answer has been let’s see what the voters decide in November but inside I can’t help but wonder why and what makes me so hesitant.

Even being together 16 years, with signed domestic partnership papers in hand, am I afraid of a “marriage commitment” of some sort? Do I feel like I don’t want another piece of paper and ceremony that will just turn out to be invalidated in Novemeber if the voters pass the marriage ban? Is it because it buys us precious little in federal rights at this point? Is it because we came seriously close to ending things a couple months ago and now I’m a little gun shy? Or maybe after 16 years of everything we have been through, how exactly does a piece of paper mean much anyway. We *have* been married for a very very long time regardless of what the law says. Or… is there something else I can’t get in touch with here.

I don’t know. I wish I could be excited about all this. I wish my heart was jumping up and down planning the perfect wedding and planning the perfect way to ask Bob to marry me (or, marry me again… tho it would be VERY hard to top asking him in Santorini, Greece like I did the first time in 1993). We’ll see… I suspect at some point we *will* get married but for some reason it just isn’t that big a deal to me, maybe that will change when it’s really happening but right now I just don’t feel the excitement and giddyness of it all :(

So… last night in the hour or two before bed I did 3 things…

1. Bob brought up wanting to go to a big fancy $175 a plate fundraiser thingee called Unmask the Mysteries on Saturday. I’m not an A-list gay nor do I function well around them but we have the money and we have been trying to give back to the world here and there. So, I think “ok I can tux up for the night and go to this thing”. Then I look at the website (http://www.unmaskthemysteries.com) and all looks only *slightly* uncomfortable and hoity toity until I see “extravagant masks encouraged”. Suddenly I hear Indiana Jones saying “MASKS!!! WHY’D IT HAVE TO BE MASKS” in my head. I hate masks, I borderline fear them and the thought of going to one of those fancy schmancy masquerade balls give me the total heebie jeebies big time. If I can’t see/read your face I don’t want you anywhere near me. Evil people wear masks. So, I tell Bob un-uh no way, not doing it and he *swears* that in the past years nobody wears masks. He says a few people do to model the ones being auctioned off but most the guests just wear formal wear and no mask. OMG…. EEEEEK… I don’t know if I can do this. Bob is buying the tix today so I guess we are tho. ****stressing****

2. I watched the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica and WOW, I *totally* didn’t see that ending coming. Where they go from there I am uber-curious about.

3. I re-read the last few issues of DC Comics “Countdown” where the world is basically destroyed by both a mutating virus and nuclear holocaust and will one day be run over by mutated beings who are left after the destruction.

So… what do I dream last night??? Nightmares, big nasty nightmares… what nightmares you ask??? I am with the crew of the Battlestar Galactica on a scorched post-apocalyptic type Earth surrounded/chased/captured/etc by evil post-apocalyptic type mutates… wearing big fancy glittery evil masquerade masks!!!!!!!! Masks, why’d it have to be masks?!?

BAH!!! Could my mind be any more easily invaded by the things that happen before bed? Hmmmm… I bet I could be hypnotized easily… I seem to be such an open receiver to things like this.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m gonna kill Bob if there are a bunch of folks wearing masks at this thing Saturday *shudder*

so far the fire near my Dad's house seems to be heading away from it, phew. From maps it looks like it's about a mile away but has headed the *other* way from there. Hopefully the winds don't change, it would so suck for my dad to come back from vacation and have his house gone. Oh, and I think my sister has the dogs, so yay for that :)

There's a bad wildfire about a mile from my Dad's house in Bonny Doon. We can see the smoke coming up over the mountain from our backyard. My Dad & Step-mom are in Europe but I hope their house and dogs are ok :( We have a few friends in that area of the mountains too, I hope they are all ok too :( :( :(

***nervous***

Some weird ol dreams last night… one of them I was out partying with a group of bear guys from SF, none on my flist and all of which I’ve seen around in real life but met only briefly at most in real life. It was weird cause I truly don’t know any of these guys… OOOOOOOH.. wait, I saw a at least some of them doing a birthday bar crawl this weekend when I was in SF. Huh… *that’s* how they got in my head, weird.

Anyway, in the dream I party with them and suddenly it’s real late and it degenerates into a sex dream where all of us are in a big living room and all of a sudden I’m having sex with squalidbear, markosf, and pharmbear… none of which do I even know in the real and awake world but I recognize them from comments they’ve left on other friends lj’s. It’s so rare I have sex dreams and even odder that these 3 guys that I’ve met for like 5 seconds at most IRL would show up as guest stars in my latest. Not that I minded, all sexy guys, but still odd.

So, moving along. We’re getting it on, and I’m really having fun with squalidbear (I don't even know his real name, so weird he's here) and I notice at the other end of the couch there is someone asleep under a big blanket. Then I realize it’s my Mom (eeeeeeeek) She then awkwardly (and a little peevishly for being woken up) leaves and I hide behind squalidbear’s chest hoping she doesn’t see me. I remember saying, OMG... that's my Mom, I'm SO embarrassed to him and he in turn did his best to hide me well, or he shoved my face in his crotch. Either way, it worked. I think there was a bit more play after that but having my Mom show up kinda put a damper on things so we decided to go to Disneyland (?). While there I hung out with all the hottie bears and we found a place that made donuts and I had a great big maple covered and custard filled one. I remember thinking what a great day that I got to play with hottie bears *and* have a big donut.

You know, I like to think I am deep and introspective but then I dream a little dream like this and I realize just how shallow and small my little world is... sexy men, disneyland, donuts... I'm happy LOL


nothin much else going on today. My allergies are the major suck right now but that's about it :P

bored-ocity

*Hmmmm… how brown (oxidized, is that correct?) does lettuce have to be before it’s considered bad? {looks at salad, decides to eat only the tomatoes, toss the lettuce and be hungry the rest of the afternoon}

*I swear, I have muscles that I didn’t know exist that are sore from Saturday night. Details aren’t needed but I’m soooooo achy in my back arms and legs today. Why is it always the day after "the day after" that muscles get sore. I would think they’d be sore from the get-go.

*It’s quite warm outside. I suspect that will make my regular lunch time nappy in the car not go forward as normal as cooking dendren in the car makes for little sleep.

*I wish I didn’t have such a hard time remembering names sometimes. I try, I really do.

*I tried to figure out how to use my laptop and vcr to convert some VHS tapes of mine to digital so I could dvd them. I failed. But, I think I know what I need to buy to make it happen. It would be nice to save some of our old home movie type stuff from the inevitable vhs degradation that will happen at some point. I wish I could figure out how to get past the copy guard on some of my old videos too but I doubt that will happen.

*Yep… still hungry, I’m not going to be a happy camper at the gym this afternoon I suspect :P

Giggly giggly doo… my friends Marc & Peter bought 2 extra tickets to the Regeneration Tour in August and asked Bob and I if we wanted to buy em. Of course we’re gonna go… OMG Human League, Belinda Carlisle, Dead or Alive, Naked Eyes and ummmm… someone else I can’t remember… OH!!! ABC. Wooo-hooo… yay for 80s concerts ***excited*** :)

I sort of over did it a bit in my plans for a weekend in Vegas for Bob’s bday next month… I got a VIP suite at the Golden Nugget, tickets to Cirque du Soleil Zumanity for Friday night and Bette Midler for Saturday. Our cheap weekend away isn’t so much on the cheap now. Oh well, hopefully he’ll really enjoy. I think I’m gonna give him the gazillion rolls of quarters I have stocked away in my chest of drawers and let him use it for gamblin money. It’s silly (and space consuming) to have a few hundred in change sitting around for the last 10+ years anyway :P How much do those coin star thingees charge to convert your change?

Work has been oddly quiet. I guess after the latest round of cuts people are just sort of hiding in their little corners of the universe hoping they aren’t in the next round in January. Man I hope the economy starts righting itself soon :P

Back to musicishness... holy moly... I bought Donna Summer and Cyndi Lauper's new albums and they are pretty damn good. Cyndi's was great but Donna Summer's totally blew me out of the water. OMG I like every song. I *love* Stamp Your Feet and I bet it'ss going to bounce all around the clubs this summer. LOL she has a song on there called The Queen is Back and DAMN... it's true. She's impressed me big time with this album and I've only listened to it once LOL LOL I love that the last 3 albums I've bought (Madonna, Cyndi and Donna) are all artists I've been listening to for 25 plus years... yay for sticking around in the world LOL

Oh… last but not least, here are a handful of pics from my weekend in Ohio. Dave just sent em to me. Obviously we were too busy all weekend to take very many but at least there are some :)

A few from Cedar Point



I was sooo nervous waiting for this damn thing to shoot us off :P



And a few from Club Diversity in Columbus…

Gene & Steve


Ross & Mike


Robert & Dan


Steve, Shawn & Me (looky at the bright green appletini... I'd never had one... yum!

It was such a fun weekend, I’m ready for more LOL I think I've decided to spend the night in SF this weekend and continue the summer fun, YAY that :)


Ok... longish post considering I haven't had much to say of late. Hope y'all have a good day!

GRRRRRRR... I'm taking Bob to Vegas to see Bette Midler for his birthday next month. I booked us at the little gay resort which sounded more intimate and fun than one of the big resorts on the strip (since once we get to the big resorts I don't see Bob the rest of the time as his eyes glaze over with the ding ding ding of the slots).

Anyway, I got an email today from the gay resort saying they just booked all the other rooms (48 of the 53) for a big bisexual group weekend thingee. I called Bob to let him know and he said, oh, that will be kind of fun. I then told him... "ummmm... think about it for a second, do you really want to be sunbathing next to nekid boobs and pussies all over the place?" not to mention bi-guys who want to make use of those boobs and pussies while a dick is in their butt...

Soooooo... looks like were gonna stay in one of the regular big resorts on the strip which will hopefully not include nekid women. Looks like I'll be playing slot machine widow once again :P

It was a right nice weekend I have to say. Bob’s heart stents that were put in last fall finally seem to be doing their job and his energy level (and general health it seems) is up dramatically. Seeing him feel good and want to do things is pretty damn cool, it’s like I have my husband back, yay that!

Friday night we met daved010 and nebulocity1976 for dinner before they headed off to see Man of La Mancha in Saratoga. Very nice dinner, yummy food and a nice time to kick back and relax a bit with the two of them. I really enjoyed it actually. Tho… I think we should have had Spanish food to go with their la Mancha theme instead of Italian. Tthey weren’t going to see Man of La Mangia after all (yes, I used the same joke Friday night, as long as it makes me laugh I will continue to, so there :P )

Saturday we did house puttering stuff, did our errands, took naps, Bob worked quite a while in the back yard, and I got caught up on Top Chef and Lost. I made a couple of fruitcakes that I’d been promising Bob I’d make since the holidays, and we had a busy day all the way around.

Sunday we were up and off to Santa Cruz for Santa Cruz Gay Pride. I can NOT believe it’s June and pride season already. It was kind of cool, lots of buzz around the marriage stuff. I overheard 2 couples excited discussing there wedding plans with friends which was surprisingly touching to me.

Santa Cruz Pride is always my favorite pride festival of the year. SF is too big, San Jose is too... something unlikable, but Santa Cruz is just right. It’s small town, I see friends that I have known for (ouch) 20 some years (ouch) and I just plain enjoy the simplicity of it all. Bob and I watched the parade, went to the festival, saw most everyone I was hoping to see and had a nice time. Then we decided to walk down to the Boardwalk and have greasy food and ogle the men enjoy the beachside scenery. We wandered the Boardwalk a bit, I halfway enjoyed a corn dog (they used to be so much better) and then we walked down to the wharf and went to the end to see the seals and sea lions. From the end of the pier the walk back to the car was a long one but such a nice afternoon to enjoy a walk together in Santa Cruz. Soon we headed home, I whipped up something for dinner and then I went to bed about 8, clearly pooped from the long day walking in the sun LOL

The next few weeks will be flying by fast I’m sure. I’m very inclined to have a night in SF this coming weekend but not sure I can pull it off… I’ll have to see how the week progresses. The weekend after that is San Jose Gay Pride and we’ll be having a bbq that weekend too. Not sure if we will do SF Pride at the end of the month or not but with Bob’s energy level up it’s looking likely that we will, yay for that :)

Looks like summer is a startin… yay!